A Special Girl

My last post of the year 2006 will be dedicated to a special girl.. This girl puts me in yet again a state of ambivalence.. Words can't really describe what I'm feeling at this moment.. Even then, I'm also not sure what I'm feeling at this point of time.. My heart and mind seemed to be so distant from me...

I used to doubt the existence of love at first sight.. Previous encounters told me that I am not one who puts my faith in love at first sight.. I used to fall for a girl only after I know her better and believed that she is the one for me.. Unfortunately, things always didn't go my way.. But this time, I don't know what came to me.. When I saw this girl, I was really attracted to her.. Even though she is still much of a stranger to me, I'm kind of fallen for her.. This has never happened to me before.. So I'm really at a lost.. What is this that I am feeling?? Is this so called love at first sight?? My conviction that love at first sight doesn't exist (at least for me) has been swayed..

I don't know what attracted me to her.. It's a feeling I can't explain.. Perhaps her petite frame invoked in me a sense of wanting to protect her.. But I believed it is something more.. I still can't figure it out...

Perhaps I'm still unsure if I really like her.. Cause I'm still skeptical about falling for someone who I don't really know..

I really don't know what to write at this moment.. I seemed to have a lot of things in mind, yet I don't know what to write.. I thought this would be the last time I'll see her, hence I want to put this down as my last post for the year.. Yet, in an unexpectd turn of events, I now happen to have her MSN and phone number.. Is this a sign of something??

I'm really skeptical about such signs, cause I've always been misled by these so-called signs.. Is fate playing the same joke on me yet again?? I've lost the confidence and courage to think postively about any possible outcomes.. But yet, I'm not ready to give up for the fact that my work has been cut out for me.. I really don't know what I should do..

I've always tried my best to give advice to my friends when they approach me.. Yet, I'm so lost when it comes to myself.. Perhaps I should let time decide for me.. And see if I'll still think of her as time goes by.. Or maybe I should try to get to know her better.. Perhaps things might turn out well..

Conflicting thoughts fill my mind.. Yet, I've seemed to have forgotten that she might be attached.. Perhaps I'm thinking too deep at this moment.. Maybe I should try to find out her current status at this moment.. But how am I going to do that?? Things seemed to be getting more complicated..

I can always choose to take the easy way out: Forget her altogether.. Yet, my heart refuses to give way.. Like what I've told Kien Wei: Follow your heart.. Now I realized how difficult it can be.. But still, I believe that my heart will eventually give me the answer..

For now, this will be my last post for the year.. Memories of her will follow me through to the year of 2007.. I can't seemed to find the correct words to describe what I'm feeling at this moment.. But one thing is sure: In my heart she is still there..

To everyone: Happy New Year...

A small gathering..

Met up with Daniel and Jason today at Compass Point.. It was supposed to be a gathering for "the medical centre guys".. But I received news from Daniel yesterday that only himself, me, Jason, Poa Seng and Vincent would be able to make it today.. I decided to go for the gathering even though there will only be 5 of us..

On my way to Compass Point today, I received a call from Daniel saying that only Jason and himself can make it eventually.. Well.. It's better than nothing..

Sat down at the foodcourt for some food and chatted for a while.. Walked around Compass Point before we parted for home...

The feeling still lingers...

It has been a day.. But the feeling of nostalgia still fills me.. I guess this is me.. It will take some time before the feeling disperses.. Or maybe it wouldn't at all.. Perhaps it would stay as part of my memory down the road.. Yea.. I guess this would be the case..

Realized that I didn't mention the names of my Primary school friends who were there with me yesterday at our Primary school.. Guess it's better for me to write down who were with me yesterday so that this particular part of my memory would be intact in the years to come.. There were 5 of them yesterday.. They are: Peiying, Ziwei, Rosenna, Jielin and if I'm not wrong, Margaret (I would really like to apologise here.. Cause I don't really recall who she is.. In fact, she was not in the same class as me.. Hence, my memory of her was quite vague)..

Really hope to have another gathering in future.. It is one way of keeping memories alive..

The feeling of nostalgia still lingers.. However, such feelings usually become my source of inspiration.. Yea.. My inspiration to write songs and sing them with deep emotions.. Although I don't really like the feeling of facing with nostalgia, I must admit that such strong feelings contribute to my inspiration..

But at this moment, please allow me to be immersed in nostalgia...

A walk down memory lane

Went back to my Primary school today.. The reason for the trip to my Primary school was that my Primary school is closing down today.. Yea.. Today is the official last day of my Primary school..

Time really flies.. I graduated from my Primary school exactly 10 years ago.. 10 years seemed to pass by so quickly.. My Primary school friends decided to have a small gathering in school today before it closes..

Walking down the path which I took daily 10 years ago, the walk on my way to my Primary school seemed so familiar at that instance.. I can remember quite vividly the path which I took to school 10 years ago.. Although some things may have changed, the route to my school is still there..

Met up with 5 of my Primary school friends for this gathering.. The number is quite small considering the fact that a few others are overseas.. But the last trip to my Primary school was the purpose for the day..

We walked around the whole school.. Nobody was around except a security guard.. The 6 of us walked around the school and all the things which we have done in the past seemed to come to life.. It's a pity that all these familiar surroundings are going to be gone soon.. We took a few photos of the school and spent the rest of the time walking around the school and talking about old times..

Nostalgia fills me at the moment...

A special gathering...

Had a very special gathering today.. Met up with 2 different groups of my friends at the same time.. The beauty of this gathering was that the 2 groups of friends knew one another from our secondary school days.. Hence, the gathering was possible.. Boon Hao and Jason are one group of my friends; Kien Wei, Weiming and Bernard are the other group of friends..

Met up with Bernard, Boon Hao and Jason at AMK MRT station at around 10:45am.. Went to KBox at AMK for our KTV session.. After the session, we met up with Kien Wei and took a walk around AMK area before proceeding to Weiming's house.. Stayed at Weiming's house for a chat as well as play some games on his PS2.. Left his home at around 6:30pm.. Proceeded home for dinner..

It's great to see all of them again...

Jamming Session

Had my first jamming session with Jarvis, Shawn and Chris today.. Met them at Potong Pasir MRT at 1pm before proceeding to Boon Music Instrument Centre down the road for the jamming session..

Prepared 5 songs for the jamming session today.. The songs are "Jyojyoushi", "Eien", "Blurry Eyes", "Fate" and "Twinkle Twinkle".. Was a little nervous in the beginning because it was my first jamming session and some of the songs are quite difficult to sing.. But I still hope to give my best.. Shawn asked me whether I'm ready for "Jyojyoushi", cause the song should be the most difficult among the 5 because of its pitching.. However, knowing myself, I'm quite sure "Jyojyoushi" wouldn't be the song that would give me the most problem; "Fate" would be the one.. After the jamming session, I believed I was correct.. I'll elaborate on this later..

For a start, we decided to play "Eien".. Well.. That song wasn't really a good song for me to start with.. Cause even though I feel that "Fate" would be the most difficult song to sing, "Eien" is the song which I'm still not so comfortable in singing.. The reason behind is the unique melody of the song.. The song has a melody which I find difficult to follow.. The song has a somewhat "lazy" feel to it, even though the lyrics suggest otherwise.. This is also the reason why I admire hyde's lyrics.. He's so great in coming up with such beautiful lyrics..

Anyway, back to the topic.. The song "Eien" wasn't well done in my opinion.. I couldn't really get the melody correct, and my voice is still stuck in my throat.. Couldn't really get my voice out of my throat.. Perhaps I didn't warm up properly.. The second song was "Jyojyoushi".. In my opinion, there weren't really much problems with this song, except the fact that I still couldn't get my voice out of my throat.. In fact, I discovered that my falsetto has improved a lot since the time I joined Geyong.. At that time, falsetto was my biggest problem.. I guess all the practices has shown their results..

Next up was "Twinkle Twinkle".. Not too much problem there except for a part which I got the melody wrong.. Tried to introduce some rasp for some parts of the song.. Not too bad.. Although my voice is still far from raw..

After the song, "Fate" was next.. As predicted, "Fate" did posed some problems.. Tried to hit the high notes during the chorus.. Managed to do so for the first few times.. But as time goes by, my voice started to break.. Apart for that, the song was not too bad..

Finally, "Blurry Eyes".. This song was also quite problematic, even though I didn't really expect it.. I had a lot of problem singing the song on time.. For most of the verse, I was off rhythm.. I couldn't figure out what went wrong.. I was mostly ahead of the music.. I guess I came in too early for some of the parts.. But the chorus was ok..

After playing through the 5 songs, we went on to repeat the songs.. On a rough estimation, I believed we played "Eien" 2 times, "Jyojyoushi" 2 times, "Twinkle Twinkle" 3 times, "Fate" 3 times and "Blurry Eyes" 3 times.. A total of 13 songs over 2 hours..

Well.. To sum up, I believed I'm still very far away from reaching the standards of hyde.. But I will try my best to improve.. I guess I've also found the key to singing: Letting my body relate to the music.. Why do I say so?? Cause I've tried to memorize the melody to the songs we were going to play, but I discovered that it wasn't really effective, especially when it comes to songs like "Eien".. As such, I decided not to think too much when I sing; Just let my body tell me what to sing next.. As a result, I believed this method worked very well for me.. The second time I sang "Eien", it was way much better when I used this method..

In addition, warming up of the voice is also important.. My voice was stuck in my throat in the first hour.. It was only in the second hour that I feel my voice getting out.. It was also after my voice got out that I felt I was singing better.. My pitching was more correct after my voice warmed up.. I could also hit the high notes better.. However, my voice was a little strained after 1 hour of singing.. So I believed today wasn't my best performance.. Hope to do better next time round..

Singing with a band is indeed a great experience.. I feel so alive singing with a live band.. This was indeed a great experience for me.. Hope to do more jamming in future.. Hope I will do better the next time I jam...

A small gathering..

Met up with Weiming and Gun Kiat yesterday.. Bernard couldn't meet up with us at the last minute, so there were only the 3 of us.. We met at around 2:30pm at HarbourFront MRT.. Took a walk around Vivocity.. Spent some time exploring the place.. I must say the place is huge.. I guess we haven't really explored the whole place..

Really hope all the 5 of us can meet up before school reopen.. But I guess we can only do so after Gun Kiat comes back from his overseas trip..

My dream guitar..

Will have quite a few things to do for the next few days.. Will need to farmiliarise myself with 5 songs for my first jamming session.. The songs are "New World", "Jyojyoushi", "Eien", "Blurry Eyes" and "Twinkle Twinkle".. All by L'Arc~en~Ciel.. It's not going to be easy.. But definitely what I would enjoy..

Will be meeting up with Weiming, Bernard and Gun Kiat on Thursday.. It's been some time since I last saw them..

I guess that's how I'm going to spend the next few days.. I'm almost done with learning the Katagana characters.. Will be moving on to the Hiragana characters soon..

I guess I'm moving out of point here.. Haven't got to my topic for this post.. Anyway, my dream guitar is the Gretsch DUO JET 6128T-62 guitar.. It's a guitar which hyde used before in some of his performances.. I think the guitar is cool.. But It's too expensive.. Maybe next time...

(Latest news from my band members: We're playing "Fate" instead of "New World".. "New World" is a killer because of its chorus..)

Forming a band

Met up with Jarvis, Chris and Shawn yesterday.. All 3 of them are in a band together.. However they lacked a vocalist.. Saw their post on the S.O.F.T forum with regards to them looking for a vocalist.. Decided to give it a try..

Haven't had our first jamming session yet, so everything is still in its early days.. Will see how things go...

Learning some Japanese..

I'm trying to learn Japanese on my own.. Bought a guide book to aid me on this some time ago.. But I discovered that the book is not exactly for beginners.. Cause the book teaches the different characters of the Japanese language, but unfortunately, not the grammer.. As such, if I were to learn what is in the book, I would know how to read and write Japanese, but not understand what I'm reading or writing.. Seems illogical, but I guess I'll just have to make do with what I have at the moment.. For now, I guess I'll just learn all the characters and worry about the grammer later..

Since Tuesday until now, I have learnt 30 Katakana words.. I'm planning to learn 10 words each day.. I'll learn all the Katakana words first before moving on to the Hiragana words.. According to my calculations, if I were to learn 10 words each day, I would be able to learn all the Katakana words and the Hiragana words before the new term starts.. After which, I will take my time to learn the essential characters and the general use characters..

I guess that's all I have for now...

Plans for this holidays..

Finished my exams last Tuesday.. Finally, a very hectic semester has come to an end.. Really hope to have a good rest.. After that, I have a lot of things which I hope to do this holidays.. In fact, there's too many things I hope to do this holidays..

I intend to learn some basic Japanese.. I intend to learn some basic music theory.. I intend to brush up on my guitar skills.. I intend to compose more songs.. I intend to learn how to play the bass guitar.. And I hope to form a band..

Well.. Looks like there's a lot of things I hope to achieve.. I'm not sure how many of them I'll end up completing, but I do hope to do at least some of them while I have the free time.. I'm sure it'll be another hectic semester when the new term starts..

I discovered that I really like the sound of the bass guitar.. Really hope to learn how to play the bass guitar someday..

Really hope to form a band.. But it's not an easy task.. Had a hard time finding people who play the drums or the bass guitar.. So difficult to the point that I have even thought of converting myself to playing the bass guitar.. Really hope to form a band..

Well.. I guess that's all for now.. Still have a lot of things in mind to do.. But I guess I'll take things one at a time.. I'll see what I can do this holidays...