I guess the title of my post today seemed a little extreme.. But somehow, I guess this is the most appropriate title.. Reason is because this is the exact feeling I got at that very instance..
I was very happy when she added me as her friend on friendster yesterday.. But the instance whereby I found out she is already attached, I felt like I had dropped from heaven to hell.. There is so much in my heart at this moment.. But I’m really not sure what to say..
I guess she is the very first girl who actually made me believe the idea of “love at first sight”.. But I guess we’re just not fated to be together..
Actually, I haven’t really given up.. Reason is because I found out she was attached through her blog.. But her last post on her blog was like more than half a year ago.. So I’m not sure what’s the situation like at this moment.. But I believe I should give up soon.. Cause she mentioned in her blog that she is happily attached.. I believed she has found her happiness.. I should let go before I sink any deeper.. But it’s not going to be easy for me..
I guess I’m getting old.. I’m jaded at the thought of falling for different girls as I move on.. I want to experience true love.. Undying love… I thought she would be the one for me.. But I guess I was wrong..
I guess I’m being foolish over here.. Even though she is attached, my feelings for her is still there.. And I would choose to keep this feeling in my heart.. Is it foolish to be quietly waiting for something that is never going to be mine?? I’m not too sure either.. But I believe this is what true love should be like.. Unconditional love.. Just hoping that the other party would be happy.. Nevermind about myself.. Perhaps I’m being too idealistic here.. To the extent of foolish..
I don’t know how I should continue from here.. Sorry for being contradictory in my post for today.. A lot of paradoxes.. I’m just lost..
For now, I just hope she is happy…