Jaded; Engulfed by a new form of Pain..
Felt tired today.. Didn't sleep well last night..Will elaborate why later on..
Felt very jaded about love recently.. Have this feeling that things will never go right for me when it comes to love.. Despite always having the odds against me, I could not stop myself from my ever-ongoing search for true love.. Guess this is my personality.. Something which could not be changed easily.. As what I told Fang Hui..
Found out that 'F' was very unhappy recently.. The reason being she encountered an incident which made her think that it'll be very difficult for her to be with 'J1'.. To make things worse, she felt that she could not do anything about it.. Upon hearing this, I went into a state of mixed feelings myself..I felt sad for her, but deep inside my heart, I knew that this would also mean that I'll still have a chance to be with her.. However, I know that at this very moment, she will only be happy if she's with 'J1'.. So I gave her my encouragement.. At first, I could not believe what I've done.. From a friend's point of view, it was a correct decision to give her my encouragement; but from my personal point of view, I would have, loosely translated from a chinese phrase, used a stone to crush my own foot.. After thinking for a while, I finally decided that I've made the correct decision.. As I've said previously, when I love someone, I would want her to be happy.. So I guess that was the best I could do for her.. Sometimes, I do wonder: why do I always place others' interest above my own? Is it always the best thing to do? Why do I always take care of the welfare of others first? I guess it may have something to do with my name.. For those who know me, you should know what I mean..
Upon hearing 'F' 's sad encounter, I was engulfed by a new form of pain.. Something which I've never felt before.. I'm quite used to the feeling of heartbreak.. But I've never felt the pain of someone else's heartbreak before.. Not until now.. When I knew 'F' was heartbroken, I felt her pain.. I wish I could share her pain, or even bear the pain for her.. Cause I could not bear to see her suffer.. But I couldn't.. Cause I don't have the courage to tell her how I feel.. For the fact that I know she's deeply in love with 'J1'.. It would further her dilemma if I tell her my feelings for her now..
All the above was what caused my sleeplessness last night.. Tried not to think about it before I went to bed last night.. But subconsciously, I think this was what kept me awake.. Hope that things would be resolved one way or another soon.. If 'F' is finally able to be with 'J1', then so be it.. I'll wish her all the best.. Let me bear my own heartbreak.. I'll be willing to exchange my own heartbreak for her happiness.. Yea...
Felt very jaded about love recently.. Have this feeling that things will never go right for me when it comes to love.. Despite always having the odds against me, I could not stop myself from my ever-ongoing search for true love.. Guess this is my personality.. Something which could not be changed easily.. As what I told Fang Hui..
Found out that 'F' was very unhappy recently.. The reason being she encountered an incident which made her think that it'll be very difficult for her to be with 'J1'.. To make things worse, she felt that she could not do anything about it.. Upon hearing this, I went into a state of mixed feelings myself..I felt sad for her, but deep inside my heart, I knew that this would also mean that I'll still have a chance to be with her.. However, I know that at this very moment, she will only be happy if she's with 'J1'.. So I gave her my encouragement.. At first, I could not believe what I've done.. From a friend's point of view, it was a correct decision to give her my encouragement; but from my personal point of view, I would have, loosely translated from a chinese phrase, used a stone to crush my own foot.. After thinking for a while, I finally decided that I've made the correct decision.. As I've said previously, when I love someone, I would want her to be happy.. So I guess that was the best I could do for her.. Sometimes, I do wonder: why do I always place others' interest above my own? Is it always the best thing to do? Why do I always take care of the welfare of others first? I guess it may have something to do with my name.. For those who know me, you should know what I mean..
Upon hearing 'F' 's sad encounter, I was engulfed by a new form of pain.. Something which I've never felt before.. I'm quite used to the feeling of heartbreak.. But I've never felt the pain of someone else's heartbreak before.. Not until now.. When I knew 'F' was heartbroken, I felt her pain.. I wish I could share her pain, or even bear the pain for her.. Cause I could not bear to see her suffer.. But I couldn't.. Cause I don't have the courage to tell her how I feel.. For the fact that I know she's deeply in love with 'J1'.. It would further her dilemma if I tell her my feelings for her now..
All the above was what caused my sleeplessness last night.. Tried not to think about it before I went to bed last night.. But subconsciously, I think this was what kept me awake.. Hope that things would be resolved one way or another soon.. If 'F' is finally able to be with 'J1', then so be it.. I'll wish her all the best.. Let me bear my own heartbreak.. I'll be willing to exchange my own heartbreak for her happiness.. Yea...