Coming to terms with my feelings..
Went through a lot (in terms of emotions) these few days.. Thought about the many possibilities and outcomes between me and 'F'.. Many of which are outcomes that I hope I do not have to face.. After what I've posted for the past few weeks, I guess it's quite plain obvious who 'F' is.. But I guess I'll just leave it as it is for now..
Again, I'm "suffocated" by such feelings that I have for 'F'.. Trying to ease my pain by not thinking too much.. Not an easy task, but it's something I have to do in order to make myself feel better.. This doesn't mean I have given up on 'F' though.. I've failed myself 3 years ago by letting go so easily.. Hence, I'm not going to let go of any chances so easily this time round.. I'll prove to her that my feelings for her are real.. Let's hope time can enable me to prove my feelings to her..
Not really sure how to carry on from here though.. I guess I've already hinted to her my feelings last Saturday.. Whether she got the message or not is another thing.. It appears to me that things remain the same as before.. Is it a good sign?? Or is it not?? Did she not get my hint?? Or is she trying to indirectly tell me that it's not possible between us?? Or is she just trying to avoid confronting this issue?? So many possibilities, yet no definite answer.. I'm more confused than ever.. What should I do next?? I'm really lost..
With such confusion, I decided to turn to music for solace.. Music never fails to offer me comfort during such times.. Listened to songs by Ryan Adams on my way to school today and also on my way back.. The emotions he evoke in his songs really touches me.. Can't really explain why.. It just touches me.. Really sense the feelings in his songs.. Especially "Sweet Illusions".. Wonderful..
I think I need to come to terms with my feeling.. Love cannot be forced.. I just have to accept what fate has prepared for me.. Really hope this time round fate wouldn't be so cruel to me.. But I'm not that hopeful though.. Still, I'm not going to give up so easily.. I'll give my best to make this a success.. Hopefully 'F' can help me in this.. Without her, things will never work out.. Relationship is a two-way process.. It will only turn out well if both parties feel the same way towards each other.. Please.. I really don't want another case of unrequited love.. Not when I've committed myself totally..
I guess this is what I've been feeling these few days.. Hopefully I can see the light at the end of this path soon.. Yea..
Again, I'm "suffocated" by such feelings that I have for 'F'.. Trying to ease my pain by not thinking too much.. Not an easy task, but it's something I have to do in order to make myself feel better.. This doesn't mean I have given up on 'F' though.. I've failed myself 3 years ago by letting go so easily.. Hence, I'm not going to let go of any chances so easily this time round.. I'll prove to her that my feelings for her are real.. Let's hope time can enable me to prove my feelings to her..
Not really sure how to carry on from here though.. I guess I've already hinted to her my feelings last Saturday.. Whether she got the message or not is another thing.. It appears to me that things remain the same as before.. Is it a good sign?? Or is it not?? Did she not get my hint?? Or is she trying to indirectly tell me that it's not possible between us?? Or is she just trying to avoid confronting this issue?? So many possibilities, yet no definite answer.. I'm more confused than ever.. What should I do next?? I'm really lost..
With such confusion, I decided to turn to music for solace.. Music never fails to offer me comfort during such times.. Listened to songs by Ryan Adams on my way to school today and also on my way back.. The emotions he evoke in his songs really touches me.. Can't really explain why.. It just touches me.. Really sense the feelings in his songs.. Especially "Sweet Illusions".. Wonderful..
I think I need to come to terms with my feeling.. Love cannot be forced.. I just have to accept what fate has prepared for me.. Really hope this time round fate wouldn't be so cruel to me.. But I'm not that hopeful though.. Still, I'm not going to give up so easily.. I'll give my best to make this a success.. Hopefully 'F' can help me in this.. Without her, things will never work out.. Relationship is a two-way process.. It will only turn out well if both parties feel the same way towards each other.. Please.. I really don't want another case of unrequited love.. Not when I've committed myself totally..
I guess this is what I've been feeling these few days.. Hopefully I can see the light at the end of this path soon.. Yea..