May I Love You??
Went to Swensens yesterday evening to celebrate Fang Hui, Amos and Willy's birthdays.. Had our dinner there.. After which we also ordered a birthday cake to celebrate their birthdays together.. The atmosphere there was good.. Spent some time talking over there before we left for home at around 9pm..
Found out on Monday that I did not make it through the second round of audition for the mid-autumn festival performance.. But it doesn't really matter, cause I've already expected it.. The rest of them are so good, and my performance on that day was quite erratic, forgetting the lyrics and so on.. In the end, only 3 people were selected out of the original 12.. Tough choice.. By not qualifying for it, I guess it would only make me more determined to hone my singing skills.. So I guess it's not a bad thing after all.. I'll be back.. I promise..
Now, on to the main topic for today.. Kept listening to the song "May I Love You" by Zhang Zhi Cheng.. Quite an old song, but a song that is so close to my current situation.. Go find out the lyrics to the song to see what I mean.. Really want to tell 'F' what the lyrics of the song say.. Yea.. This song is really a great reflection of what I'm feeling at the moment.. How I wish I can play the guitar and sing this song to her.. Yea.. Another one of my crazy ideas.. One of my friends asked me previously: "Why do you use 'Cloud' as your nick?" Well.. I guess this is why.. I'm just so unpredictable..
Another reason why I use 'Cloud' is because of 'Bu Jing Yun' from "Feng Yun" series.. At first glance, he seems to be an aloof and cold-blooded person.. But beneath the exterior of this man lies a heart of great passion and intensity.. And I admire him for his willingness to do almost anything for the person he love.. I guess for all those who know me, you all can actually draw some comparisons between me and him (maybe the aloof part, but not the cold-blooded part of course).. That's why I use the nick 'Cloud'..
It seems that I'm drifting away.. Yea.. Let me recollect my thoughts.. Today, I actually felt a sense of helplessness.. I'm beginning to feel a little bit of despair.. I keep thinking that I can never replace 'J1' 's position in 'F' 's heart.. And I feel that I could lose 'F' anytime.. Wondering what's going on.. Maybe it's because my inability to do my tutorials have made my confidence and morale reach an all time low.. Thus, everything seems to be affected by it.. But I don't deny the fact that I still think that 'F' will never fall for me.. Well.. I guess I should not feel this way, but I just can't help it.. I just think that I'm not good enough for her..
Guess that's what I've been feeling recently.. My mind is in a mess.. And I keep making contradictory statements.. On one hand, I tell myself that I will not give up any chances of being with 'F', but on the other hand, I feel so jaded.. I guess I'm a paradox.. I hope I can come to a solution to all these that are happening.. But I guess I'll just take my time to solve this.. Pardon me if I do anything unexpected.. Cause I'm just so unpredictable.. Just like 'Cloud'.. Yea..
Found out on Monday that I did not make it through the second round of audition for the mid-autumn festival performance.. But it doesn't really matter, cause I've already expected it.. The rest of them are so good, and my performance on that day was quite erratic, forgetting the lyrics and so on.. In the end, only 3 people were selected out of the original 12.. Tough choice.. By not qualifying for it, I guess it would only make me more determined to hone my singing skills.. So I guess it's not a bad thing after all.. I'll be back.. I promise..
Now, on to the main topic for today.. Kept listening to the song "May I Love You" by Zhang Zhi Cheng.. Quite an old song, but a song that is so close to my current situation.. Go find out the lyrics to the song to see what I mean.. Really want to tell 'F' what the lyrics of the song say.. Yea.. This song is really a great reflection of what I'm feeling at the moment.. How I wish I can play the guitar and sing this song to her.. Yea.. Another one of my crazy ideas.. One of my friends asked me previously: "Why do you use 'Cloud' as your nick?" Well.. I guess this is why.. I'm just so unpredictable..
Another reason why I use 'Cloud' is because of 'Bu Jing Yun' from "Feng Yun" series.. At first glance, he seems to be an aloof and cold-blooded person.. But beneath the exterior of this man lies a heart of great passion and intensity.. And I admire him for his willingness to do almost anything for the person he love.. I guess for all those who know me, you all can actually draw some comparisons between me and him (maybe the aloof part, but not the cold-blooded part of course).. That's why I use the nick 'Cloud'..
It seems that I'm drifting away.. Yea.. Let me recollect my thoughts.. Today, I actually felt a sense of helplessness.. I'm beginning to feel a little bit of despair.. I keep thinking that I can never replace 'J1' 's position in 'F' 's heart.. And I feel that I could lose 'F' anytime.. Wondering what's going on.. Maybe it's because my inability to do my tutorials have made my confidence and morale reach an all time low.. Thus, everything seems to be affected by it.. But I don't deny the fact that I still think that 'F' will never fall for me.. Well.. I guess I should not feel this way, but I just can't help it.. I just think that I'm not good enough for her..
Guess that's what I've been feeling recently.. My mind is in a mess.. And I keep making contradictory statements.. On one hand, I tell myself that I will not give up any chances of being with 'F', but on the other hand, I feel so jaded.. I guess I'm a paradox.. I hope I can come to a solution to all these that are happening.. But I guess I'll just take my time to solve this.. Pardon me if I do anything unexpected.. Cause I'm just so unpredictable.. Just like 'Cloud'.. Yea..