Fallen Angel...
I wouldn't really say I'm an angel or anything close to one, but if I was really an angel in the first place, I would be a fallen angel at this moment of time.. I may appear to people as a person who seems to know what I'm doing, like an angel without faults.. But deep inside, I know otherwise.. I'm in fact a fallen angel with a lot of flaws.. Most of the time, my heart and mind are full of ongoing internal conflicts, just that I don't show any signs of it.. Forgive me for comparing myself to an angel.. I know I'm nowhere close to one.. But this is just a way of expressing how I feel..
Right now, my heart is torn between 2 girls.. Not sure who I really like.. In fact, I do not know why I fall for them in the first place.. Looks?? Character?? Personality?? Or just feelings?? I'm not really sure if it's looks.. Cause I believe "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".. Looks are subjective.. I guess my definition of 'good-looking' is just different from others.. To others, what I think is beautiful may not be so.. But I guess I have surpassed the looks factor recently.. I look out for other things rather than looks.. I feel that character, personality and of course, feelings, are more important.. I guess I'm looking at things from another perspective now.. Looking beyond looks.. Not that I mind though.. Cause I feel all these are really more important than looks.. I just despise the fact that I can't commit to a single girl.. I despise myself for my indecisiveness.. Sometimes I think: Is my inability to commit due to me being afraid to commit in the first place?? I'm not sure if this is just an excuse I've come up with for myself.. I guess I just need more time to think..
I will be joining Impresario with ShwuYun if there are no last minute changes.. Will be singing a duet together.. This will be my first time singing a duet.. We have decided to meet up for a karaoke session some time this week to confirm what song to sing for Impresario.. At this moment of time, I do not wish to think too deeply into this matter.. I'm really jaded.. Feel like letting go of such thoughts for a while.. Yet, I don't deny that I'm happy I'm going to see her again.. I still don't know how I actually feel about her.. Have I also fallen for her?? On one hand, I'm looking forward to seeing her; On the other hand, I can't help but feel that I'm betraying my feelings for 'F'.. I'm really confused.. Who do I really like?? Am I really such a fickle person?? If this is true, then I really despise myself for this unforgivable trait.. I guess I will have a better idea to this issue after I meet ShwuYun.. Maybe by then I will have a definite answer.. I really hate to be in two minds..
Back to listening to songs by L'Arc~en~Ciel.. One thing is for sure: I love rock songs!!! Really like Hyde's voice.. Yea..
Right now, my heart is torn between 2 girls.. Not sure who I really like.. In fact, I do not know why I fall for them in the first place.. Looks?? Character?? Personality?? Or just feelings?? I'm not really sure if it's looks.. Cause I believe "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".. Looks are subjective.. I guess my definition of 'good-looking' is just different from others.. To others, what I think is beautiful may not be so.. But I guess I have surpassed the looks factor recently.. I look out for other things rather than looks.. I feel that character, personality and of course, feelings, are more important.. I guess I'm looking at things from another perspective now.. Looking beyond looks.. Not that I mind though.. Cause I feel all these are really more important than looks.. I just despise the fact that I can't commit to a single girl.. I despise myself for my indecisiveness.. Sometimes I think: Is my inability to commit due to me being afraid to commit in the first place?? I'm not sure if this is just an excuse I've come up with for myself.. I guess I just need more time to think..
I will be joining Impresario with ShwuYun if there are no last minute changes.. Will be singing a duet together.. This will be my first time singing a duet.. We have decided to meet up for a karaoke session some time this week to confirm what song to sing for Impresario.. At this moment of time, I do not wish to think too deeply into this matter.. I'm really jaded.. Feel like letting go of such thoughts for a while.. Yet, I don't deny that I'm happy I'm going to see her again.. I still don't know how I actually feel about her.. Have I also fallen for her?? On one hand, I'm looking forward to seeing her; On the other hand, I can't help but feel that I'm betraying my feelings for 'F'.. I'm really confused.. Who do I really like?? Am I really such a fickle person?? If this is true, then I really despise myself for this unforgivable trait.. I guess I will have a better idea to this issue after I meet ShwuYun.. Maybe by then I will have a definite answer.. I really hate to be in two minds..
Back to listening to songs by L'Arc~en~Ciel.. One thing is for sure: I love rock songs!!! Really like Hyde's voice.. Yea..