Just some thoughts..
Time for some reflection again.. Nothing much special happened during the past 3 days, although there were 2 quite significant events that took place during this period of time..
Firstly, I had a rehearsal 2 days ago, on Tuesday.. It was the rehearsal for the upcoming performance this coming Wednesday.. This was a closed-door rehearsal, cause it only involved those from Geyong.. The official rehearsal is on next Tuesday, whereby all those taking part, which includes other ECAs, will come together for the final rehearsal.. The rehearsal 2 days ago was quite a casual one.. We met up at Sulin's hall, and practised at the TV room.. It wsn't a long rehearsal, cause we were already quite prepared for it.. However, I discovered something after all the practices I had with my guitarist, Junying.. The connection I had with Qichuan during my last performance was missing from my partnership with Junying.. Somehow, the connection is not really there.. We did find some difficulties following each other's rhythm at first, but I guess everything is ok now.. This wasn't a problem when I practised with Qichuan the last time.. Perhaps me and Junying still lack the singer-guitarist connection.. Hopefully things will go well during the actual performance..
The second event that took place actually left a huge impact on me.. This particular event took place yesterday.. Why did this event leave such a great impact on me?? Because I met 'F' yesterday.. It's been such a long time since I last saw her.. I wasn't really expecting to see her in school, considering the fact that I've not really seen her for more than a month, even though we're in the same school.. But yet, I met her under the most unlikely of circumstances.. I can still remember the time: 16:35pm.. I just had my lunch and was deciding to go to the library to print my lecture notes.. Actually, going to the library was not something I had in mind, cause I know the library will be very crowded.. In the end, I still decided to go take a look and see if I can find a computer terminal.. On my way to the library, I saw her.. At first, I wasn't really sure if it was her, cause I only saw her side view.. But from far, it really looked like her.. After crossing each other's path, it became clear that it was really her.. I waved to her, and she waved back at me.. Although it was only a short greeting, my spirits were lifted at that very moment.. But yet, I was not really prepared for what came next after this brief moment we shared..
Before this, I was beginning to come to terms with myself.. I was beginning to live my life without thinking so much about her.. Yet, this brief encounter messed up my mind again.. Every attempt I've made to stop thinking so much about her came to naught.. Suddenly, I'm back to square one.. Guess I have to start all over again.. But I guess I really can't get her out of my heart and mind..
After this encounter, I really can't help but think that Fate is again playing a trick on me.. This has happened to me too many times.. Just when I thought I can live my life normally again, Fate introduces her back to my life.. Should I really leave everything to Fate?? What is going to happen if I really let nature take its own course?? Will I end up being made a fool again?? Should I take things into my own hands and carve out my own destiny?? All these questions came flowing to my mind yesterday, after the brief encounter..
Such things have happened to me too many a time.. Everytime I thought I've lost the feelings I had for 'F', something will happen to rekindle the feelings I have for her.. If I'm not destined to be with her, why is Fate always bringing her into my life when I'm trying so hard to bring her out of my mind?? What is going on?? Is this whole thing really a joke?? Although this is a dilemma for me, at least I'm quite sure on some things.. That is: My feelings for 'F' is still there, and 'F' is not ignoring me.. Why is this so?? Cause after all that has happened, I'm quite sure that my feelings for her is true.. And the fact that she waves back to me yesterday, it shows that we are still friends.. So at least there are still some positive things..
Hopefully things will carry on smoothly from here..
Firstly, I had a rehearsal 2 days ago, on Tuesday.. It was the rehearsal for the upcoming performance this coming Wednesday.. This was a closed-door rehearsal, cause it only involved those from Geyong.. The official rehearsal is on next Tuesday, whereby all those taking part, which includes other ECAs, will come together for the final rehearsal.. The rehearsal 2 days ago was quite a casual one.. We met up at Sulin's hall, and practised at the TV room.. It wsn't a long rehearsal, cause we were already quite prepared for it.. However, I discovered something after all the practices I had with my guitarist, Junying.. The connection I had with Qichuan during my last performance was missing from my partnership with Junying.. Somehow, the connection is not really there.. We did find some difficulties following each other's rhythm at first, but I guess everything is ok now.. This wasn't a problem when I practised with Qichuan the last time.. Perhaps me and Junying still lack the singer-guitarist connection.. Hopefully things will go well during the actual performance..
The second event that took place actually left a huge impact on me.. This particular event took place yesterday.. Why did this event leave such a great impact on me?? Because I met 'F' yesterday.. It's been such a long time since I last saw her.. I wasn't really expecting to see her in school, considering the fact that I've not really seen her for more than a month, even though we're in the same school.. But yet, I met her under the most unlikely of circumstances.. I can still remember the time: 16:35pm.. I just had my lunch and was deciding to go to the library to print my lecture notes.. Actually, going to the library was not something I had in mind, cause I know the library will be very crowded.. In the end, I still decided to go take a look and see if I can find a computer terminal.. On my way to the library, I saw her.. At first, I wasn't really sure if it was her, cause I only saw her side view.. But from far, it really looked like her.. After crossing each other's path, it became clear that it was really her.. I waved to her, and she waved back at me.. Although it was only a short greeting, my spirits were lifted at that very moment.. But yet, I was not really prepared for what came next after this brief moment we shared..
Before this, I was beginning to come to terms with myself.. I was beginning to live my life without thinking so much about her.. Yet, this brief encounter messed up my mind again.. Every attempt I've made to stop thinking so much about her came to naught.. Suddenly, I'm back to square one.. Guess I have to start all over again.. But I guess I really can't get her out of my heart and mind..
After this encounter, I really can't help but think that Fate is again playing a trick on me.. This has happened to me too many times.. Just when I thought I can live my life normally again, Fate introduces her back to my life.. Should I really leave everything to Fate?? What is going to happen if I really let nature take its own course?? Will I end up being made a fool again?? Should I take things into my own hands and carve out my own destiny?? All these questions came flowing to my mind yesterday, after the brief encounter..
Such things have happened to me too many a time.. Everytime I thought I've lost the feelings I had for 'F', something will happen to rekindle the feelings I have for her.. If I'm not destined to be with her, why is Fate always bringing her into my life when I'm trying so hard to bring her out of my mind?? What is going on?? Is this whole thing really a joke?? Although this is a dilemma for me, at least I'm quite sure on some things.. That is: My feelings for 'F' is still there, and 'F' is not ignoring me.. Why is this so?? Cause after all that has happened, I'm quite sure that my feelings for her is true.. And the fact that she waves back to me yesterday, it shows that we are still friends.. So at least there are still some positive things..
Hopefully things will carry on smoothly from here..