Drifting away..
Felt that SY is drifting away from me.. But before I get too deep into that, I will update on what happened in school today first..
Went to school early in the morning because my lecture starts at 8:30am.. Had lessons all the way until 11:30am, before I had a 4 hrs break.. My Elective starts at 3:30pm, so therefore I had 4 hrs to spare.. During the 4 hrs, I did quite a lot of things.. Firstly, I went to Hall 2 canteen with my friend to have lunch.. After which, we made our way back to Library 2 cause my friend needs to print his lecture notes.. After that, I went to the South Spine with him, cause his Elective is held there.. After parting with him, I went to the photocopy shop at S4 to print my lecture notes for both my Electives.. Then I went back to North Spine to see my mentor so that I can fill in my personal record form.. After that, I went to the bookshop at NIE to get my log books.. Finally, I went back to Library 1 to do my work until it was time for my Elective..
My Elective today was held at LT26.. It is called "Directed Readings in Modern Chinese Song Lyrics".. The teacher in charge of teaching us is the famous composer, Mr Liang Wen Fu.. The lecture was a very interesting one.. After today's lecture, I had a much indepth look at Chinese song lyrics.. I was quite surprised that some lyrics could be interpreted in such ways.. It was an eye-opener for me.. Looks like I have a lot to learn from him in future lessons to come..
For the past few days, I was kept guessing by SY's words as to whether she already had someone in her heart.. But after today, I guess I'm more or less convinced that there is really someone in her heart.. Her personal message on her MSN really convinced me on that.. If this is the case, then I guess I really have no choice but to back off.. A very painful decision which I had to make, but I guess that's the only solution I have now.. I'll try to back off, although I'm not sure how successful I'll be.. This will take time...
Backing off is one thing, but forgetting her is another.. I can force myself to back off, but I really can't make myself forget her, at least not at this moment of time.. Perhaps deep in my heart I will be hoping that my guess was a wrong one.. But I know I shouldn't give myself any more false hopes.. I think I have left my heart with her, and now I really can't think of a way to get it back.. Perhaps time will solve everything.. False hopes I may be harbouring, but I still couldn't let go of my feelings..
However reluctant I may be, I will still need to let go when I really have no choice (or chance) left.. As such, I've decided to post the lyrics of another Chinese song today.. Although the lyrics don't really reflect what I'm exactly feeling now, the last two sentences are what I'm trying to do now.. Even though it is going to be painful, I will still try my best to let SY be with her loved one.. And the only way I can do that is for me to give her up...
五月的雪
歌手:游鸿明
(日文口白)喂是我
再一次再一次就好
想再和你碰一次面
再一次就好
再看看你的脸
为了见你最后一面
我孤孤单单站了一整夜
五月的天突然下起了雪
我的心渐渐失去了感觉
也许多年多年以后
想起来还是觉得很伤悲
只是不愿让你独自面对
我是不愿让你独自面对
在他面前觉得自己有罪
五月的雪下得如此凄美
淡淡的夜彷佛知道离别
我抬起头看着远方
才能忍住转过身时的泪水
五月的雪何时才能停歇
分一杯水分不完的心碎
虽然痛苦却让一个男人
至少可以成全他爱的女人
Went to school early in the morning because my lecture starts at 8:30am.. Had lessons all the way until 11:30am, before I had a 4 hrs break.. My Elective starts at 3:30pm, so therefore I had 4 hrs to spare.. During the 4 hrs, I did quite a lot of things.. Firstly, I went to Hall 2 canteen with my friend to have lunch.. After which, we made our way back to Library 2 cause my friend needs to print his lecture notes.. After that, I went to the South Spine with him, cause his Elective is held there.. After parting with him, I went to the photocopy shop at S4 to print my lecture notes for both my Electives.. Then I went back to North Spine to see my mentor so that I can fill in my personal record form.. After that, I went to the bookshop at NIE to get my log books.. Finally, I went back to Library 1 to do my work until it was time for my Elective..
My Elective today was held at LT26.. It is called "Directed Readings in Modern Chinese Song Lyrics".. The teacher in charge of teaching us is the famous composer, Mr Liang Wen Fu.. The lecture was a very interesting one.. After today's lecture, I had a much indepth look at Chinese song lyrics.. I was quite surprised that some lyrics could be interpreted in such ways.. It was an eye-opener for me.. Looks like I have a lot to learn from him in future lessons to come..
For the past few days, I was kept guessing by SY's words as to whether she already had someone in her heart.. But after today, I guess I'm more or less convinced that there is really someone in her heart.. Her personal message on her MSN really convinced me on that.. If this is the case, then I guess I really have no choice but to back off.. A very painful decision which I had to make, but I guess that's the only solution I have now.. I'll try to back off, although I'm not sure how successful I'll be.. This will take time...
Backing off is one thing, but forgetting her is another.. I can force myself to back off, but I really can't make myself forget her, at least not at this moment of time.. Perhaps deep in my heart I will be hoping that my guess was a wrong one.. But I know I shouldn't give myself any more false hopes.. I think I have left my heart with her, and now I really can't think of a way to get it back.. Perhaps time will solve everything.. False hopes I may be harbouring, but I still couldn't let go of my feelings..
However reluctant I may be, I will still need to let go when I really have no choice (or chance) left.. As such, I've decided to post the lyrics of another Chinese song today.. Although the lyrics don't really reflect what I'm exactly feeling now, the last two sentences are what I'm trying to do now.. Even though it is going to be painful, I will still try my best to let SY be with her loved one.. And the only way I can do that is for me to give her up...
五月的雪
歌手:游鸿明
(日文口白)喂是我
再一次再一次就好
想再和你碰一次面
再一次就好
再看看你的脸
为了见你最后一面
我孤孤单单站了一整夜
五月的天突然下起了雪
我的心渐渐失去了感觉
也许多年多年以后
想起来还是觉得很伤悲
只是不愿让你独自面对
我是不愿让你独自面对
在他面前觉得自己有罪
五月的雪下得如此凄美
淡淡的夜彷佛知道离别
我抬起头看着远方
才能忍住转过身时的泪水
五月的雪何时才能停歇
分一杯水分不完的心碎
虽然痛苦却让一个男人
至少可以成全他爱的女人