Moving on???
It's time to move on.. Or is it?? Everytime I tried to move on, my subconscious mind seemed to hold me back.. Trying to get SY off my mind.. Consciously making the effort to let go of my feelings, but subconsciously, I'm struggling with it..
I'm not trying to get SY TOTALLY off my mind, cause by doing so, it means that I'll have to forget about her totally.. This is not what I want.. What I really hope to achieve is a change of mindset.. I need to give up the thought of being with her.. I need to change my mindset from 'relationship' to 'friendship'.. Yea.. That's what I really want.. I was really struggling with this last night, but I guess my mind is clearer now..
Last night, before I went to sleep, I listened to my MP3 player.. Heard the song "Shan Hu Hai" and suddenly, I began to feel a surge of feelings in my heart.. While listening to the song, I could imagine what it would be like if I had the chance to sing this song with SY.. I know I shouldn't have this thought if I've made up my mind to move on.. But I just couldn't stop imagining this scenario.. Thinking of our vocal range and quality, I really felt that this would be a very great song for both of us if we had the chance to sing it (of course, her voice is so much better than me, I guess if someone were to mess up the song, that guy will definitely be me, not her).. Then I realized something: Two people doing a duet together doesn't necessarily mean they have to be a couple.. At this point, I guess I've found the answer I was looking for.. Although to me she is by far my best singing partner (anyway, she's the only girl I've sang with so far), it doesn't necessarily mean she is the girl of my life.. At this point, I guess that's the answer I was looking for.. It's time for me to move on.. Perhaps we could sing a duet again some other time.. But this time, she would be a friend rather than a potential lover.. I guess I should stop giving myself false hopes.. But at this point of time, I would sincerely want to tell her this: All the best in finding the true love of your life...
With this, it's time for me to move on.. Well.. Something which I felt quite interesting happened today.. Maybe interesting is not the correct word to use here.. Can't find a better word.. Not sure what word should be used.. Well, I had my Elective today.. Went to LT26 10 minutes early.. Could not enter because the previous class had not ended.. While waiting outside the LT, I saw this rather cute girl standing outside the LT.. It seemed that she was also attending this Elective.. Just thought that she looked quite cute.. Didn't think any further.. When I finally got in the LT, I looked for a place to settle down.. Found a good place that is neither too far nor too near.. After I settled down, I noticed that the girl I saw just now was sitting in front of me.. What a coincidence.. While our teacher was going through our notes, I came to notice her notes as she was sitting in front of me.. I was surprised.. I thought I have already taken down quite a lot of notes during lectures.. But after I saw her notes, I found out that she has taken down more notes than me.. She is really hardworking.. The interesting thing here is that while she was sitting in front of me for most of the lecture, suddenly I found her sitting beside me for the last one-third of the lecture.. This was because her friend sat two seats away from me, so she took the empty seat beside me in order to sit with her friend.. But that's not all.. Her friend left half an hour earlier, leaving her all alone.. Since there were other seats left in the LT and the other seat beside me was also empty, it looked as though both of us knew each other and so we sat together.. But in fact, we were total strangers.. But what I do feel is that she looked cute..
What am I thinking?? I guess this is not really a very interesting thing after all.. I guess I'm still in a state of 'delirium', or more specifically, still not totally recovered from the after-effects of trying to get SY off my mind.. Pardon me for my strange behaviour today.. I'll go do some reflection again.. I guess I'll end off here for today..
I'm not trying to get SY TOTALLY off my mind, cause by doing so, it means that I'll have to forget about her totally.. This is not what I want.. What I really hope to achieve is a change of mindset.. I need to give up the thought of being with her.. I need to change my mindset from 'relationship' to 'friendship'.. Yea.. That's what I really want.. I was really struggling with this last night, but I guess my mind is clearer now..
Last night, before I went to sleep, I listened to my MP3 player.. Heard the song "Shan Hu Hai" and suddenly, I began to feel a surge of feelings in my heart.. While listening to the song, I could imagine what it would be like if I had the chance to sing this song with SY.. I know I shouldn't have this thought if I've made up my mind to move on.. But I just couldn't stop imagining this scenario.. Thinking of our vocal range and quality, I really felt that this would be a very great song for both of us if we had the chance to sing it (of course, her voice is so much better than me, I guess if someone were to mess up the song, that guy will definitely be me, not her).. Then I realized something: Two people doing a duet together doesn't necessarily mean they have to be a couple.. At this point, I guess I've found the answer I was looking for.. Although to me she is by far my best singing partner (anyway, she's the only girl I've sang with so far), it doesn't necessarily mean she is the girl of my life.. At this point, I guess that's the answer I was looking for.. It's time for me to move on.. Perhaps we could sing a duet again some other time.. But this time, she would be a friend rather than a potential lover.. I guess I should stop giving myself false hopes.. But at this point of time, I would sincerely want to tell her this: All the best in finding the true love of your life...
With this, it's time for me to move on.. Well.. Something which I felt quite interesting happened today.. Maybe interesting is not the correct word to use here.. Can't find a better word.. Not sure what word should be used.. Well, I had my Elective today.. Went to LT26 10 minutes early.. Could not enter because the previous class had not ended.. While waiting outside the LT, I saw this rather cute girl standing outside the LT.. It seemed that she was also attending this Elective.. Just thought that she looked quite cute.. Didn't think any further.. When I finally got in the LT, I looked for a place to settle down.. Found a good place that is neither too far nor too near.. After I settled down, I noticed that the girl I saw just now was sitting in front of me.. What a coincidence.. While our teacher was going through our notes, I came to notice her notes as she was sitting in front of me.. I was surprised.. I thought I have already taken down quite a lot of notes during lectures.. But after I saw her notes, I found out that she has taken down more notes than me.. She is really hardworking.. The interesting thing here is that while she was sitting in front of me for most of the lecture, suddenly I found her sitting beside me for the last one-third of the lecture.. This was because her friend sat two seats away from me, so she took the empty seat beside me in order to sit with her friend.. But that's not all.. Her friend left half an hour earlier, leaving her all alone.. Since there were other seats left in the LT and the other seat beside me was also empty, it looked as though both of us knew each other and so we sat together.. But in fact, we were total strangers.. But what I do feel is that she looked cute..
What am I thinking?? I guess this is not really a very interesting thing after all.. I guess I'm still in a state of 'delirium', or more specifically, still not totally recovered from the after-effects of trying to get SY off my mind.. Pardon me for my strange behaviour today.. I'll go do some reflection again.. I guess I'll end off here for today..
posted by Dark Messenger at 11:34 PM
