???
Looking at the title of my post today, I guess you all should sense that I'm feeling lost again.. Yea.. It seems that I'm really lost.. Lost in all aspects..
Firstly, I'm feeling lost because I feel that things are starting to go beyond me in my studies.. I'm starting to get lost.. Starting to feel lost during my Mathematics II lectures, although I'm still quite relieved that I'm able to catch up with my Logic Design lectures.. Hope that things will make a turn for the better..
Second thing that is bothering me is my feelings.. Valentine's Day is coming in less than 10 days, and I have this strong feeling that I'll feel very lonely this coming Valentine's Day.. Much more so this year than any previous years.. Don't ask me why.. It's just my gut feeling.. Perhaps it's because I'm losing my way in my studies, that's why I hope that there is someone by my side to accompany me through this period of time.. Unfortunately, that special person is still missing from my life..
Ever since I've decided to give SY up, I kept telling myself that maybe someone more suitable is waiting for me during some point of my life.. As such, I've never given up any hope of finding that special person.. Even though I know that I may come across more of such painful experiences of having to give someone up.. I'm still hopeful..
In fact, for the past few days, I seemed to have developed some feelings for someone I know.. It never occurred to me that I will ever develop feelings for her.. But somehow, I guess I did.. Not really sure about this though.. Cause I seemed to have lost the courage to commit myself again, at least for now.. And I do not want to endanger the friendship that I share with her.. I guess I need more time to be sure of my feelings for her.. I need to consider whether this is just a "passing" feeling, or is it really my true feelings.. I do not want to take a wrong step.. I need to be very sure of this before I try to do anything.. As such, I will not reveal her name for now.. Until I'm very sure of my feelings..
A sidenote: She does remind me of Celine (for those who know me well, I guess you all know what I mean).. Her character does remind me of her.. Don't know why.. Again, this is what I feel.. Am I back to where I've started?? Am I once again attracted to girls that share the same character traits as Celine?? I'm not too sure myself.. I guess I need more time to find out my true feelings..
Firstly, I'm feeling lost because I feel that things are starting to go beyond me in my studies.. I'm starting to get lost.. Starting to feel lost during my Mathematics II lectures, although I'm still quite relieved that I'm able to catch up with my Logic Design lectures.. Hope that things will make a turn for the better..
Second thing that is bothering me is my feelings.. Valentine's Day is coming in less than 10 days, and I have this strong feeling that I'll feel very lonely this coming Valentine's Day.. Much more so this year than any previous years.. Don't ask me why.. It's just my gut feeling.. Perhaps it's because I'm losing my way in my studies, that's why I hope that there is someone by my side to accompany me through this period of time.. Unfortunately, that special person is still missing from my life..
Ever since I've decided to give SY up, I kept telling myself that maybe someone more suitable is waiting for me during some point of my life.. As such, I've never given up any hope of finding that special person.. Even though I know that I may come across more of such painful experiences of having to give someone up.. I'm still hopeful..
In fact, for the past few days, I seemed to have developed some feelings for someone I know.. It never occurred to me that I will ever develop feelings for her.. But somehow, I guess I did.. Not really sure about this though.. Cause I seemed to have lost the courage to commit myself again, at least for now.. And I do not want to endanger the friendship that I share with her.. I guess I need more time to be sure of my feelings for her.. I need to consider whether this is just a "passing" feeling, or is it really my true feelings.. I do not want to take a wrong step.. I need to be very sure of this before I try to do anything.. As such, I will not reveal her name for now.. Until I'm very sure of my feelings..
A sidenote: She does remind me of Celine (for those who know me well, I guess you all know what I mean).. Her character does remind me of her.. Don't know why.. Again, this is what I feel.. Am I back to where I've started?? Am I once again attracted to girls that share the same character traits as Celine?? I'm not too sure myself.. I guess I need more time to find out my true feelings..
posted by Dark Messenger at 11:28 PM
